It was the Best of Times/It was the Worst of Times

A pale colored cowboy hat in a field of blue bonnet flowers

I've lived a lifetime of ups and downs all in this one very long/short year. I grew older, I'm 61 now, and yet, I'm younger in ways also. I spent the 1st trimester crying everyday from the pain I was in, yet I managed to work 12 hour days through it all until I couldn't walk anymore.

The 2nd trimester was spent out of work, trying to recover from surgery and stay healthy at the same time which wasn't difficult at all since I didn't go anywhere or do anything all day.

The 3rd trimester was spent going back to work after months of being home, all alone, struggling with money, cashing in my retirement, screaming at the empty walls of my home because I couldn't afford to live there anymore after 20 years. I had to learn to let go, let go of my fears, let go of my anger, let go of my home, the only home I'd ever owned. I lovingly planted trees, shrubs, flowers. I painted the walls and decorated it, more than once, and now I had to sell it. It broke my heart, I thought I had failed. But I didn't. I survived this year of heartbreak, pain, anger, human suffering, racism, political chaos, and Covid-19.

I am one of the lucky ones. I'm not depressed anymore. I'm living relatively pain free now, I have a place to live, money from the sale of my home, and I'm still virus free. We have a new president now, Joe Biden, and I'm hopeful now. I think we are coming out of this awful year with a more unified, peaceful, loving nation. It was the Worst of Times/It's now the Best of Times.